What makes a Good Celebrant?
When I started a new career path in Celebrancy, my friends and family asked, "What is a Celebrant"? Once I explained what a Celebrant did, they unanimously said, "You'll be so good at that". I took their responses to be genuine, and from the testimonials, I have received from clients to date, I know I am on the right track.
Over the last year, there appears to have been a significant upsurge in the number of people advertising themselves as Celebrants.
Those Celebrants that were first to the post and have established themselves may feel thwarted by the ever-increasing numbers. However, I believe there is space for all, and healthy competition is what hopefully sorts the chaff from the grain regardless of the length of time working as a Celebrant.
I use the term profession, although Celebrancy has not yet made it onto the government's recognised profession list. And although it is advisable to undertake proper training from a reputable company, it is not compulsory. Nevertheless, I would have to admire someone's gumption to stand in front of a crowd at a highly emotional charged ceremony without the reassurance of proper training.
It is a huge responsibility, and there is only one opportunity to get it right.
That means committing time and effort to clients to ensure the delivered Ceremony is above their expectations. So how do you know when you get it right? I always visit my clients once the Ceremony is written and read it through to them. There are several reasons for this, but when I read it aloud to my clients if they laugh, shed tears, nod and sigh, I know I have hit the nail on the head.
The sigh is a crucial tell; it is a sign of relief. Entrusting a virtual stranger to create a Ceremony on your behalf and relying on them to express your words and emotions is a giant leap of faith. Nothing is as rewarding as hearing the words, "That is just what we wanted; it's perfect."
There is no place for ego when scripting or leading a ceremony. A Celebrant is a facilitator; despite leading the Ceremony, they are not the 'star'. "I" has no place in the Ceremony. Like the 'grey man", a good Celebrant should enhance the day whilst blending in, never taking the focus off those for whom the Ceremony was written. Unless there is a specific request.
Note the term blending in is on the understanding that if a Ceremony has a theme, it is appropriate for the Celebrant to dress according to that theme. Be mindful that although a Celebrant can don an outfit if it doesn't mean they share your passion. Look for a like-minded Celebrant to ensure authenticity to your Ceremony.
A Celebrant may make suggestions and encourage imagination and creativity to enhance a Ceremony but never dictate or disregard the client's wishes. Please note provisos being around the individual Celebrant's personal views regarding what constitutes health and safety and offensive behaviour.
At the very least, a good celebrant should be an active listener and empathetic. In addition, they should be well-organised and skilled at communicating; they should have a calm and confident approach and the ability to work well with others and liaise on your behalf.
Experienced Funeral Directors will connect you with a Celebrant they feel is right for you. However, you are under no obligation to use that Celebrant. If you are not comfortable with the Celebrant they recommend or prefer to use an alternative Celebrant, you can let them know without any recourse.
As with any services you employ, you must do your research to find a good celebrant, don't be afraid to question, ask for testimonials and meet with them. Sitting face to face with someone and having a conversation, you will instantly get a feel if they are the right one for you.
If you don't think they are the right one for your Ceremony, it is ok to let them know you won't be using their services.
The good news is that the abundance of Celebrants out there means there will be the right one for your Ceremony.