What’s In A Name
One of the biggest decisions as a parent to a newborn child is what name to give them. The parental choice of name has both conscious and subconscious influences, and the chosen name often unintentionally provides a wealth of information. Religious or cultural expectations can influence the criteria for name choice, and interestingly the UK Office of National Statistics breaks down the data not only by the popularity of names but also by the mother's age and the usual area of the mother's residence and popular culture.
The name given may be unique or traditional within the family or a combination of both. A close friend hit the jackpot when she had her twin daughters. By coincidence, her parents had middle names, which were the first names of her husband's parents, and both names were gender-neutral. All potential discord was easily avoided by simply giving each of their daughters one of the shared names.
Another minefield when choosing a name for your child is the often uninvited opinions of others. A memory of someone liked or disliked can often influence their response. Inevitably, questions of why the name(s) were chosen will be asked. We are always very interested in the rationale behind the name choice as there is an assumption that there must be a back story or reason. We can't help being a little disappointed if the baby's name was chosen for no other reason than "we just liked it".
Like many other aspects of our life, names are affected and influenced by the dictates of fashion. My nursing colleagues and I would guestimate a patient's age by their name. We became quite accurate in our predictions. And like other fashions, they come around in circles. Names that were popular a hundred years ago are back. Sometimes with a modern twist or simply that they are reinstated as popular names is enough to give them modernity. And some names, despite having great popularity, have become extinct or endangered. Imagine a world without Barry's, Gary's, Shirley's and Tracy's; this could be a reality unless they make a comeback. Statistics from 2020 show that ten or fewer babies have any of these monikers.
Amongst the many things to consider when giving your child a first name is their surname. Although some deliberately embrace the humour, it can be unnoticed and unintentional. My friend being called Annette was innocuous until she married Mr Curtain.
The majority happily accepted the name bestowed upon them at birth. Still, for those less enamoured, the good news is that they can change their name legally or choose another name to be known by. My mother decided to change her name midlife to Jo, fed up with the seaside postcard association of being called Myrtle. It took us a while to stop answering the phone and saying, "There's no one here by that name".
When I was 18, my then-boyfriend bought me a bottle of perfume aptly named "Janine D". I was beside myself with excitement as it could only have been named after me because, until age 30, I never met another Janine. Then, as if an alternative universe collided with mine, suddenly, Janines were everywhere. I must confess to being disappointed as I had always revelled in the idea that Janine was seemingly unique. What was a greater shock was typing my full name (both using my maiden name and married name) and finding out that there were others with the same first, middle and last name. Still, deep down, I know there is only one me, even if those imposters share my name.
As an expectant mother, I spent many hours deliberating over my children's names, inventing methods for whittling down choices and undertaking copious research on what a specific name meant and whether it was appropriate.
Names are like red cars, as in the Baader-Meinhof phenomenon. You chose a name, and suddenly, out of nowhere, you hear it everywhere. The name Lauren may be on my "if it's a girl list". The only Lauren I had heard of was the film star, Lauren Bacall. Randomly (potential names were not shared), three weeks before my daughter arrived, my sister's sister-in-law gave birth and called her daughter Lauren. When my daughter Holly started school, there were three Laurens in her class.
As it happens, I have a back story to the name Holly. My cousin's back garden had a small hole in the fence where their friends Holly and Tico would climb through to come and play. I always thought their names sounded so exotic and vowed that if I had a daughter, I would call her Holly. Again the only other Holly I had heard of was Audrey Hepburn's character in Breakfast at Tiffany's. Years later, I discovered that Tico was actually called Gareth, not quite as exotic.
I understand now that they are not synonymous with their name but that their name has become synonymous with them as they have injected their personality into their given names. I often wonder if it would have made any difference if I had called them something else. And that, like the mystery of life, is something that I will never know. I can only hope that I chose well and that they haven't changed their names I take as a positive affirmation