Why is music an important part of an End of Life Ceremony?

Since the dawn of time, humans have made music; it is a universal human trait that goes back at least 35,000 years. Music is intrinsic, instinctive and as diverse as the humans that create it. There are literally hundreds of music genres, fromMusic can mark moments in your life and help express emotions Art Punk to Zydeco and everything in between.

Music can mark moments in your life and help express emotions

Music can define your generation, mark moments in your life, and evoke memories and emotions. Often the words in a song can help us express how we feel when we can't find the words.

Music at an End of Life Ceremony plays an important role. It safely allows the expression of emotion. It can transport the listeners to a moment and create a connection, even more so if everyone sings along. A favourite song brings comfort and warmth and can be an anchor to a happier time. Whether recorded or live, music is healing. Whenever I hear a Nat King Cole song, it takes me back to my teenage years, lying in bed on a Sunday morning, listening to my mum preparing Sunday dinner in the kitchen, the inviting smell of the roast wafting up. Mum never knew the words, so she would "Na, na, na" her way through the songs. Such a powerful anchor triggers so many of my senses; When I listen to Nat King Cole, I am that teenager lazing in bed, and mum is with me.

During a time of reflection, music can allow thoughts to be gathered and allow space for personal farewells if sitting in silence feels awkward. Simply taking a moment to listen to the melody or words of a specially selected song can help to process and centre your emotions.

Music enhances the personalisation of the Ceremony

The choice of music is virtually endless, so it adds scope to make the Ceremony unique. There is no requirement to stick to the perceived "limited selection funeral songs".

Music can set the tone of the Ceremony; it can lighten the occasion respectfully. An appropriate song can pay tribute to their personality. A piece of music with a strong connection can express the spirit of your loved one and the occasion. A prime example is the singing of "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life" led by Eric Idle at the funeral for Graham Chapman. An irreverent comedy song that could not have been more perfect or poignant.

A well-placed tune can enhance a ceremony, but it should be an accessory, not the main feature. Especially where time is limited, around three minutes is an optimum length to avoid breaking up the flow of the Ceremony.

Knowing that you have selected the perfect music to pay tribute to the life of your loved one doesn't take away the pain and sorrow, but when you hear the music in the days, months or years ahead, it will bring you comfort.

Can you think of a song that anchors you to a moment and brings you comfort?

We all have those particular pieces of music; what are yours? And who knows?